What was seen, I paid for

The 'ol bait and switch was in action Saturday afternoon. G and I were out enjoying the pleasures of the mall when we found a flier advertising psychic services for $15. A call was placed and 15 minutes later we were rushed in and then out. My session lasted long enough for G to run across the street to redeem cash from the ATM. Cost of service was $25 each.

If you must know...according to her I have a dark cloud above me and for $95 she will meditate over my full name between midnight and 6am. "I guarantee my work," she added.

The specifics. I will-

live a long life
move soon
change jobs soon
go to court (the ruling will be in my favor)
and...my ex thinks about me a lot and wants me back..."or, wait...do you have a boyfriend?" she nervously asked.

I foresee a busy six months. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for court.