pretty pizzelles and all other things beautiful

Oh...holidays!

love, hope and more love

For Xmas
By Nancy Urzi

To Some dear friends I give a gift,
To some I send a card;
Yet there are some to whom I smile
And greet them with a word.
But dear ones I've given you
A thing that's set apart.
You know it not,
But still you've got,
The thing that's called "My Heart"

My grandmother wrote that poem 40+ years ago. It sort of makes me tear up when I read it. She had something for everyone and was willing to give her heart to the ones that meant the most.

To give your heart, your time...Merry Christmas!

finding your own good time

I'm in love with the holidays this year. Somehow my senses are being jostled by the spirit of it all. Usually my family would have the tree up and holiday music playing. This year is different. It's hard to be holiday oriented while packing boxes.

Then again, "on the move" is the Christmas story.

Bottom line, I'm feeling appreciative. This has been an incredible year.

funny-good

Long week here...but I'm glad I put in the time. This time tomorrow I'll be doing something different other than sitting at my desk which is fine by me since I have other things on the brain.

I've been avoiding the home for the past couple weeks. After a long day at the office I really don't want to see my house covered with boxes..which means I've been retreating to the following venues

1. coffee houses
2. bars

With the holidays approaching I've been frequenting venue #2 more often than venue #1.

Tonight, Venue 2, again...Happy Holidays!

Happy fender bender

I had an accident on the way to work this afternoon (yes, work on a Saturday, terrible).

I've been pulled over a few times since I started driving. I usually get off with a warning. Coincidentally, nearly two months ago I got pulled over for doing 32 in 25 and was scolded for having mismatched plated designs (same plate numbers...different design). The same officer arrived at today's accident.

It was not a pleasant reunion. No tears were rendered to gain leverage. I didn't break out my charm and I certainly wasn't flashing the smile. I took one for the team and the batgirl mobile is all the more closer to being on its way out the door. Also, I have to go to court on Jan. 11.

THE UBELIEVABLE PART OF IT ALL

If you refer to my entry from 9/18, "What was seen was paid for":

The 'ol bait and switch was in action Saturday afternoon. G and I were out enjoying the pleasures of the mall when we found a flier advertising psychic services for $15. A call was placed and 15 minutes later we were rushed in and then out. My session lasted long enough for G to run across the street to redeem cash from the ATM. Cost of service was $25 each. If you must know...according to her I have a dark cloud above me and for $95 she will meditate over my full name between midnight and 6am. "I guarantee my work," she added.

The specifics.
I will-live a long life (Update: I'm still alive)
Move soon...(Update: I'm moving homes Jan. 2 and I'm currently moving to a different work cubicle)
change jobs soon...(Update: I've been working as a consultant for the past 16 months, as of Dec. 1 the company made me an employee)
go to court (the ruling will be in my favor)...(Update: thanks to my driving and the civilian issued citation...well, at least "the ruling will be in my favor".)
and...my ex thinks about me a lot and wants me back..."or, wait...do you have a boyfriend?" she nervously asked...(Update: dear lord...no boyfriend, thank you and if I get a phone call from SDR I'm checking myself in. Psychiatric care wasn't in the stars though...or at least she was nice enough to no tell me.)

I foresee a busy six months (Update: since I squeezed in all that into 3 months, I foresee a relaxed and reflective remaining 3 months). Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for court (Update: dang it! Look both ways).

title protected

AIR HOCKEY CHAMPION
I wish there was a photo to show me in action. Although, I was a bit off tonight. To get back into the game I threw a quarter onto the floor and as my opponent bent down to pick it up I hit the puck in...that's right; I play dirty.

What's right about wrong

I've made steps towards good, really...I have. I'm participating in things that will potentially make me stronger both internally and externally. I'm thinking about switching on lights that have been off for awhile. This reassessment process is kind of...painful, I guess. What I thought mattered vs. what matters today, tomorrow. This is why I switched that particular light off.

I read once that faith was stepping forward in the dark.

The only thing I had to compare it to was the part in Indiana Jones where he had to cross the cavern while having faith that he will "walk on air," or something. Armed with a fancy hat and whip he took a deep breathe and, begrudgingly, stepped forward. He even rolled his eyes and I'd like the think he thought...Jesus Christ; I can't believe you're making me do this.

I wonder if he wasn't more frustrated with himself for deciding that this was what he had to do. He could've stayed at home and scored with the cute student in the front row (writing I love you one your eyelids was ingenious), but that wouldn't have been settling in the long haul.

Question: Does finding the Holy Grail save you from anything? I mean, really, Indiana now has an eternity of running from natives, dodging arrows/bullets and most of all himself.

I need to start wearing fun hats and I'm thinking a whip might be fun too.

red light...green light

Exhausting games of these sorts. Someone close to me once loudly proclaimed..."life isn't black and white!" Granted, they were jerking me around at the time but it was at that moment I realized things aren't always good/bad, right/wrong, or love/hate.

There are some 60 shades of grey. However, the reality is the human eye can only decipher around 30. Any more than 30 shades doesn't add clarity to an image.

I wonder, if the shades of grey that we see run parallel to the amount we rationalize a situation. If my instincts tell me someone's behavior is wrong but I continue to rationalize until it's okay or undecided, I've taken black and white: wrong, and created grey areas: okay.

I wonder, how understanding do we have to be? My needs, your needs, projecting those needs while hankering to come together, or not.

What I do know: I've got air hockey skills

Sunday, the unexpected fun

I met a friend for a drink at the empty bottle. Light Sunday night activity turned into 3 beers, giggling like a 5 year old and....

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VISION OF YOUR FUTURE
Empty Bottle
December 04, 2005

Audience:
You can choose to be a participant or not, but no matter what please help to maintain a quiet atmosphere.
We participated

O. ABSTRACT (we can create change together and affect our futures in this moment by following this simple equation:)

Change==focused intent++expending time & energy

1. Introduciton:
Choosing what you want to change
The world...possibly love life? I settled on the world, it seemed easier.


2. Method: Exploring common choices

A) Money worksheet: write your lottery numbers here ________________
Our lottery numbers were created by writing our numbers on scrap paper. The ladies were asked to write the number of partners they've had. The men were asked to write the length of their...ahem. The numbers were collected and added up. It was an ungodly number...30,000-something. There were only 30 participants so we were either dishonest with our numbers or we can't add. Possibly both.

The idea here was that in order to "hit it big" we should be honest with ourselves and with others.

B) Seeing love (you can change the amount of love you feel by the amount you exude.)
For this exercise we were asked to look into our friend's eyes for two minutes. The first minute we sent loving thoughts about the person in our silence. The second minute we continued the loving thoughts, maintained eye contact and touched hands. This felt good.

Idea being that if I did my part and exuded love to my friend then it would be recognized and given back to me. Or, was it that since I was open to give freely I was open to feel and love what I was giving? Further still, that if I exude love as I did while looking into my friend's eyes then it can be done with my world. Rose colored glasses...?

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Fun stuff. If it wasn't for life I would have liked to stay.